I can’t keep peanut butter in the house because I will eat the whole jar.
I only allow myself treats in a single serving container because I can’t control myself to eat a small amount.
I only eat ice cream at an ice cream shop where I can control the amount I eat.
I feel bad about myself for eating certain foods.
If those statements sound like you and the rules you have around food, you are not at peace with food. In intuitive eating, making peace with food is both scary and liberating. Many people are afraid of making peace with food because they fear they will gain weight. I wish I could say for sure that you won’t gain weight while you work on this very important step because you could. A number of people do gain weight during this phase of intuitive eating because of the manner in which they go about it. For some, tackling those off limits foods feels like a free for all and they go from restricting to binging. And if you are repeatedly eating when you are not hungry you will gain weight, of course, this is even true for foods perceived as healthy. However, if you are making peace with food within your hunger and fullness signals, the chance of gaining weight is much less. Once you have made peace with food, you will feel more in control of your choices because when nothing is off limits, you are more likely to make choices that honor your health.
Tips on Making Peace with Food
- Make a list – Write down the foods that you classify as bad, unhealthy or off limits in any way (excluding foods you are allergic to). Prioritize them by the ones that feel most off limits.
- Go slowly – Say you have a hundred foods on your off limits list, choose one or two to work on at a time. Once you feel at peace with those foods, move on until you have no more off limit foods. This will decrease your chances of binging and gaining weight because of the lack of variety.
- Stock up – Once you have chosen the foods you want to work on first, stock up on them. Buy enough of that food so that you know you can have as much as you want, whenever you want. If peanut butter is the food, buy 6 or 10 jars at a time. You may eat said foods in an out of control manner in the beginning but eventually the newness will wear off and the food will lose it’s appeal.
- Have a forbidden breakfast – Have the food you are making peace with for breakfast. Allowing yourself to have whatever you want for breakfast will help you come to terms with eating whatever you want.
- Pay attention – while eating these foods, really pay attention to how they taste and make you feel. Often times, cravings for forbidden food come from deprivation rather than actually wanting the food. You may discover that you don’t like potato chips as much as you thought you did once you really pay attention to how they taste and you allow yourself to eat them whenever you want.
- Listen to your body – Many times, the foods on the forbidden list are the very foods that do not honor our health, at least not in large quantities. Pay attention to how the foods make your body feel. If you are in tune with how these forbidden foods make you feel, you are more likely to make choices that honor your health.
By following these steps, you can make peace with food. Doing so will enable you to feel at ease in any food situation and allow you to eat the foods that are most pleasurable to to you. If you do begin to gain weight during this process, check in with yourself and be honest about how you are approaching this step. Also know that if you do gain weight, once you are in tune with your hunger signals again, you will most likely shed those extra pounds pretty easily. And the long term benefits of embracing your forbidden foods will far outweigh, no pun intended, any short term weight gain.
How do you feel about making peace with food? Do you have forbidden foods?
p.s. I have a guest post about my intuitive eating journey on MizFit today. Check it out!
Great post Christie. I don’t know if I have any forbidden foods, but I have been one to make those kinds of statements about particular foods, or particular types of foods. One thing I am definitely guilty of is categorizing foods (or parts of foods) as good or “bad” and I know I need to work on that.
I’m so glad you brought up this point. I think that many recovering binge eaters believe that the key to success is keeping binge foods out of the house at all times. That NEVER worked for me – if I wanted to binge on it, I’d just drive to the store and get it. Instead, I had to truly make peace with those foods.
Interestingly, because I started binge eating at a younger age, a lot of my binge foods were “kid foods,” if you will. Once I started making peace with them by bringing them into the house and eating them mindfully, I realized I didn’t even LIKE half of them! The temptation had nothing to do with the taste; it had everything to do with the forbidden aura around them, and the familiar feeling of comfort they gave me, you know?
Just jumped over here form MizFits blog. I have heard about intuitive eating for years and have discussed it with my clients. The concept obviously is sound in principle, but I wonder if it is just to simplistic as a blanket solution. I will be reading your blog and working this concept out over the next couple weeks. Great job on the blog.
Skyler Meine´s last blog ..Fitness Secrets of the Stars
Thanks for stopping by, Skylar.
I do not think that intuitive eating is a simplistic approach at all, actually. Learning to listen to ones body is very hard, especially with the culture that we live in that encourages that we listen to outside sources for our food and exercise choices. Intuitive eating is nothing like a diet that has a list a rules, it is all about tapping into body (not the same as the mind.) And I do believe that anyone can learn to listen to their body.
Great post!
I’m slowly getting over trigger foods. The first trigger food I overcame was Peanut butter. Then, it was cereal. Now, it’s onto chocolate. :) Chocolate, you are goin down.
Thanks for this post–always a good reminder.
i think the biggest thing that stuck out here for me was the “go slowly” part. it’s so hard when all we ever want are immediate results to take the time to actually WORK at something and cherish the journey. this was a huge eye-opener, even though it’s such a simple thing.
thank you for that reminder today girl!
I really like the tips on making peace with food. I might have to post the link on my blog. Really great advice. Thanks for sharing!
Great post. I’m so happy to say I’m light years ahead of where I used to be in my relationship with food. For me it comes down to balance (something I think most of us are trying to achieve) in nutrition and fitness. I also really listen to my body now. There are rarely times when I feel uncomfortably full. I’m going to share your post with several women in my life who I know will benefit from reading it. :)
Thank you!
Dorry´s last blog ..Dining Out in Belize
Hi there, popping over from Miz Fit. I wanted to say thank you for sharing your story! I’ve been working over the whole concept of intuitive eating in my head for a while now. I just wasn’t sure if it would actually WORK, if I could really let go of the years of dieting, rules, restrictions, etc. that I have placed on food.
I’m looking forward to pouring over your blog! I think you may have another regular reader on your hands…
Jenn @ Watch My Butt Shrink!´s last blog ..Should a Pregnant Woman Be On A Diet
Thanks for stopping by, Jen. Please do let me know if I can support you in any way!
wow, this post stirred up some anxiety in me! i feel like i am mostly at peace with food, but there are still some things i just can’t seem to control myself around (you hit the nail on the head with peanut butter & ice cream). i trust that what you are suggesting would help me get past my issues with trigger foods, but i am terrified of what that journey would like.
I believe that doing the things that make us feel afraid is what life is all about! Who knows what the journey will be like, I can assure that it would be rewarding.
I don’t have any forbidden foods, per se, but I do have to be careful with some foods because I just love the taste of them and will overeat out of tastebud joy :D.
I always wonder if intuitive eating can work for someone who really doesn’t have emotional issues for eating, but just likes food.
Lori (Finding Radiance)´s last blog ..About that protein…
You may find the post I published yesterday called “but it tastes so good” helpful, especially if you overeat. We all like food but overeating is an unhealthy habit and is most often an emotional response. And with that, emotional responses to food are not always negative the way some people think.
This is such an important post!! And I think why so many people are afraid of making peace with food (and I certainly was) is that it feels “out of control” and it feels like it will take forever. Not to mention the trust factor. So many of us who have been-there-done-that can’t imagine that we’ll ever get to the point of trusting ourselves with food (or certain foods). We don’t know what it looks or feels like. And so it certainly requires a leap of faith, not to mention a lot of patience and the willingness to see it as a long-term solution.
I am not 100% “there” but I am well on my way and my body is finally responding in a beautiful way.
KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last blog ..Figuring Out How To Be Angry…And Be Okay
When I was working (still am to some extent) on making peace with food, I was surprised at all the foods I used to sneak and binge on. They really didn’t taste good to me.
The most surprising was Girl Scout cookies. I remember eating them, mindfully, for the first time and thinking “what is the big deal? I can bake better than this!”
I mostly agree with you, and consider myself 95% intuitive eater. I am comfortable with my eating habits, yet, I only eat ice cream outside the house. Same with potato chips. I don’t think that betrays the principles of I.E., there are just some foods that are easy to overeat, not easy to stop eating. Cookies I can ignore, eat one occasionally, but not ice cream. I gained about 10 pounds and counting before I decided that part of I.E. wasn’t for me, and since I’m not willing to gain back weight, this is how it will be. I wrote a blog post myself about IE and weight loss, referenced above. These foods are not forbidden, and often I enjoy them even more for not having them often. IE doesn’t mean no discipline, it means picking your battles, or maybe avoiding them, if only to prove a point.
julie´s last blog ..My head is spinning
From my perspective, intuitive eating is about healing one’s relationship with food and not lose weight. For me and many others, weight loss is a side effect after doing the work it takes to have a “normal” relationship with food. From reading your post, it does seem that weight loss is your goal, which though may be right for you, is not the primary goal. And honestly, I don’t feel that with weight loss as the goal, the work of IE can ever be complete because that goal builds a wall around what you are willing to do to heal.
One can make peace with all foods, and yes, gaining weight can be part of that if eating outside of your hunger signals. I gained 40lbs in my process (which I have since lost) but to me, it was worth it to not feel like I can’t keep something in my house. To not fear binging at the sight of ice cream or chips. To not use food for the goodness that should come from other places like relationships, a spiritual practice and a healthy relationship with exercise.