I’ve been reflecting on my most recent backslide into disordered eating and have realized that my self care has really been taking a back seat lately. You might remember a couple of months ago when I went to the Anita Johnston workshop and learned about the yin and yang balances in our lives. She also called this the divine union between masculine and feminine which is a little harder of a concept to grasp since we think of masculine as male and feminine as female when really, they each just represent behaviors or thoughts as opposed to people. Yin and yang is easier to understand and in terms of self care, yin would be like rolling around in a puddle of puppies laughing all day and yang would be being bounced around in a mosh pit all day. And with self care, there has to be a balance between the two and lately, my yang has completely outweighed my yin. Neither is right or wrong but they each need to be heard and expressed.
As Anita discussed, when yin becomes out of balance “she” becomes rebellious and often shuts down. This, my dear readers, is exactly what has happened to me. My yang tendencies, things like making lists, focusing on schedules and calendars, perfectionism, weighing myself, etc., have been dominating and my body and mind are screaming for the yin. The rebellion has shown it self in the forms of self sabotage, no desire for joyous exercise, lack of desire to prepare meals or be creative and it has even shown up at work by procrastinating and chaos of my workspace. Dreams are often one of our number one indicators of where we lie within this balance and earlier this week, I was awoken my a dream that make it clear that I need some balance.
In light of that need, I have determined that I need to commit to my self care each and every day this month with the hopes that it will move beyond and ingrain some balance into my life. I have decided that I will commit to 30 minutes of self care each day before I go to work and on the weekends, at some point in the day. This can be in the form of yoga, meditation, dancing around my room, bawling in my office, coloring a mandala or even just sitting on my deck looking at the trees. I plan to do this before I turn on my computer each day because I have really learned that I get so easily sucked into being on my computer that I have been sacrificing my self care and that doesn’t make me happy.
I won’t be writing about this everyday but I will check in with an update from time to time to let you all know how it is going. In the meantime, I really encourage you to get in touch with your self care routine and think about that fine balance within your life. Do you have too much work and not enough play? Do you focus too much on others and allow your self care to fall to the wayside? Where does that fine balance lie?
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Wow Christie! This post couldn’t come at a more appropriate time for me. I am looking to make a fresh start and there is no time like the present! I will join you in committing to making time for self care this month. As a mom to a 2 year old and a 4 year old, my needs often come last and I rarely make time to care for myself. I’ll be looking forward to your updates and I truly hope you find the balance you crave. I enjoy your blog so much. Thank you!
That completely makes sense about being out of balance. I go through similar periods myself. I think this happens when I’m spending the whole day, for several days, doing things I think need to get done, without really considering what might make me happy at that moment. It’s great that you’re self-aware and are attempting to get your balance back. Good luck!
Awesome post! I have really struggled with the concept of self-care because I was raised in an environment where self-care was basically considered selfish. Taking time for oneself was not really acceptable; we were all supposed to be martyrs for the world and for each other. So I am always thankful for the reminder that self-care is not just ok, but it’s absolutely necessary for maintaining balance.
This post really resonated with me. I’ve been feeling extremely stressed out and moody this week. It has nothing to do with hormones either. I’ve been stressing over stupid things like food, weight, my blog. They’re really small things in the big picture of my life. I think I’ll dial it back a notch this week and try to do things like yoga and meditation to help my body relax. I have fibromyalgia and it gets worse when I’m stressed. I’ve been in so much pain the last few days and I think I need more self care. Thanks for this post!
I really love this post. We all need a reminder, permission, reinforcement to better take care of ourselves. Often times, for me, that ‘self-care’ piece takes the form of the yang-sometimes to a detrimental extreme. But I need nurturing, too!
Thanks for the wonderful read.
That makes total sense. When the body and spirit are out of wack, it can lead to an awful spiral. Take the time that you deserve and let us know if it makes a difference. Take care and do something totally selfish for yourself this weekend.
Kilee´s last blog ..Trying to Kill Time Right Now
Christie, I hope you’re able to rebalance yin and yang. I think there is a fine line of balance that we all walk. Lately, I have felt the same. My workouts have definitely slacked this month and it’s because life is going 10 miles and hour too quickly for me to keep up. I’m looking forward to slowing things down and focusing on me and my health right now. Good luck, thinking about you.
This is such a timely message, Christie – lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m running around all the time, with no chance to sit down and just BE. I’ve been doing this and that and everything that I feel like I should be doing. Good luck to both of us in rebalancing our yin and yang – it seems like this is a lifelong process, but I think it will get easier over time.
i think it’s so great christie, that you were able to hone in on what was making you backslide.
it is SO hard once you get the computer going to stop and do some self-care. i am 100% guilty of this myself and really need to knock it off.
I definitely have too much work and not enough play. The most annoying part, though, is that I turn my “play” (i.e. my blog, etc.) into work. I HATE that I do that! My overly organized, obsessive-planning personality seems to turn everything into a job of sorts. Clearly that’s something I need to work on…
The 30 minutes of self-care is a really great idea. Last week I decided on something similar – that I was going to unplug at least 2 hours before bedtime. I can’t say I’ve stuck to it every night *ahem* like right now, but the nights that I DID….well, it was incredibly relaxing. I think the important thing is that you/we *realize* this tendency to lack in the self-care-department and do something to fix it. So thanks for the reminder :)
Gracie´s last blog ..refreshed, renewed.
I know I already tweeted this to you, but I definitely make self care a priority. in fact, I’m downright self-centered when it comes to it! I love to have my alone time and I’ve definitely gotten in touch with my “self-care awareness” now that I’ve finished college and have been living a single gal’s normal life. I have time to concentrate on me, I don’t live with my mom so I’m not worried about family stuff as much, and I don’t have school work to distract me. I am my first priority and it is great.
I found you through a link on FB and am glad I did. I love the message of your blog, and this post is particular rings true, as I frantically rush through the weekend to get everything done before the work week starts…we all need to remember that if we don’t take care of ourselves first, everything else falls apart!
elizabeth´s last blog ..Mixed Messages
Yeah, great post…I have eating horribly lately. Just so much particularly late at night when I should be in bed.
And then I get so mad at myself for doing it over and over and over…I feel like it’s been going on for SO LONG – that it’s too late…that it’ll take years to ever get my body and mind back into balance and normality….
and yeah, it’s the weekend gone – and I did not relax as much or enjoy it because all I could think about was “I need to quit my job” but I need to secure another one first…and thus, should I accept other offers here – that I know I really don’t want …or get ready for a move to another new place and tackle something completely new…yeah I am scared for sure.
eatmovelove´s last blog ..I’m Scared
I love anita Johnson! I am going to a recovery support group that has been studying her book in depth! It is awesome, I get a ton out of it. She knows what shes doing!
Good luck :)
Dana <3
Dana´s last blog ..Commitments
Dana, thanks for stopping by and commenting! I also did an Eating in the Light of the moon group last year, around this time, actually. I have also done one of her workshops, she is pretty amazing! I am actually studying to be a holistic health counselor and plan to take her training workshops for providers when I am done. Love her.
I love this goal. I think it is so important and somehow it gets lost so easily in our lives. We concentrate on goals that are more important “on the outside” (achieving some certain success, or something more directed towards others than towards ourselves) and lose focus on ourselves. I think that if everyone made this same goal that you have, the world would be a much better place with much less negativity, if we all took the time we need to nurture our most important relationship (with ourselves). Good luck and keep us updated!
Courtney (Pancakes & Postcards)´s last blog ..A New Month
I love this post! I am trying so hard to find more balance in my life and love looking at my life in this way. I have way too much work and not enough play in my life. Thanks for this post.