A few days ago, Kat asked me this question on my ask me anything page:
Do you believe that weight loss is always achieved through “calories in < calories out”? (Or weight maintenance in the same vein) Are all calories created equal? Got any experience to share?
I really wanted to think this whole thing through before I answered because my thoughts on this aren’t really in line with traditional thinking. My short answer would be no, I do not believe that calories in vs. calories out is the end all be all to weight loss/maintenance and I really don’t think that all calories are created equal. But yes, I have plenty of experience to share. For those who are new (hi and welcome 
) or for old readers that need a refresher course on my story, here is the quick and dirty version:
I started binging before I was in the double digits age wise to soothe myself from a rocky childhood. As time progressed, food became my one and only source of comfort and it was my only coping skill. As a teenager, I was active enough (read forced myself to do hours of aerobics in my room) to keep my weight down. I graduated high school at 104lbs and by the age of 25 I was 220 lbs. I yo yo dieted my way down to 146 lbs and then discovered intuitive eating (and started blogging). Since then, I gone back to dieting a couple of times, binged my way to recovery and made my way back up to about 180ish.
These days, I am in a much happier place with my body and slowly but surely, I am seeing the scale go down. So, how, after all of these years did I start to see the scale go down without dieting? I’ve started to really listen to my body and I believe that our bodies are the only tool we need to get to our natural weight. It has been a long and hard battle to get to a place with food that I know what my body is telling me. It has been a roller coaster ride and the result is a way of eating that some might find restrictive but I feel nourished in a way that I never thought possible. I am so in tune with my body that when I have a reaction (joint or muscle pain, acid reflux, slow digestion, acne, eczema, headache, etc) I can pretty much hit the nail on the head with which food did it.
When I am hungry, I eat. When I am full, I stop. When I a done eating, I feel nourished and satisfied. For the first time in my life, I feel like foods place in my life is exactly what it should be. And as a result, I am slowly losing the extra weight. How much will I lose, I have no idea? Doesn’t even really matter much anymore. I trust my body and I trust myself with food. And no matter how you feel about yourself, right here, right now, you can trust your body and trust yourself with food, too. You just have to be willing to do the work it takes to get to this place. For me, it has been almost three years of what most of the time felt like and uphill battle, and heck, I still struggle from time to time, but I got here.
So, do calories matter? Maybe so.
Are all calories created equal? Heck no.
Does your body, and only your body, know the right amount of calories and the kind of calories to eat? Without a doubt.
To learn more, check out the book Intuitive Eating
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
Fantastic post!!! I love everything you wrote! Intuitive is a process. It takes time, but the result is so freeing!
Estela @ Weekly Bite´s last blog ..Vegan Lemon Wheat Muffins
It is freeing. The other day at dinner with my friend, we could smell brownies baking and we talked about how good they smelled. It was such an awesome feeling to know that I had the choice to eat as many brownies as I wanted but that I knew my body well enough to know not to eat them because of the sugar and gluten. And making the choice wasn’t hard because I want to be healthy more than anything else.
Anyone who eats should read that book! Loved it–might have to buy my own so I can reread it
Any other book suggestions?
Jill´s last blog ..Tutti Frutti
Hey Jill! Check out my my amazon store link at the top of the page. I haven’t completed the “read for fun” section but have tons of books on intuitive eating and yoga.
amen girl…i love the answer and love the honesty. keep up the great work!
Heather (Heather’s Dish)´s last blog ..Good Idea or Bad Idea?
Thanks for taking the time to so thoughtfully answer this question! I’m at the beginning of that process of learning how to eat intuitively and it’s such a hard road to travel, especially when I’ve got so many deeply ingrained habits (i.e., cleaning your plate, over-indulging when given the opportunity, even when I know I’m going way overboard). Along with learning to listen to my body’s physical cues, it’s such a psychological battle as well…so many factors are working at once, and it’s hard not to get discouraged and think “well, I’ll never get it.” One step at a time though, I’m determined to learn how to be better to my body. And in following the breadcrumb trail, I found the book y’all were talking about – I’m adding it to my queue of “must-reads.” Thanks, girlie!
Let me know if you have more questions. I love sharing my journey with others in hopes that everyone can learn to listen to their bodies.
p.s. you are the third person to mention the book. I guess I should put a link at the bottom of the post.
This is a wonderful entry. I loved reading it. It is very clear that you have a healthy and balanced approach to eating and food, and I think that is just so inspiring. I hope to one day be *that* in touch with my body.
In terms of foods as triggers for body ailments – I am totally breaking out this week! I haven’t eaten anything “greasy”, normal amount of dairy, etc…what foods do you find trigger acne for you?
(the other part of me feels like it may just be stress and not food at all…)
Darryn (brio.gusto)´s last blog ..Operation Listen to Your Body: hunger signals
As I mentioned in the post, through this process, I have ended up eating a mainly plant based diet. I eat lots of vegetables, root veggies, a few whole grains, beans, nuts, seeds and a very small amount of fish, free range organic chicken, eggs and a small amount of goat cheese. I don’t eat any processed foods, gluten, sugar, fruit (except lemons, avocados, tomatoes) or alcohol though I will do small amounts of fruit or wine from time to time eventually. Any thing on my don’t eat list triggers my reactions, including acne. I’ve also recently noticed that coconut causes reactions. When I started using coconut oil in my morning bowl of oats last week, my entire face was broken out in a rash and I had huge pimples on the lower region of my face. This week, no coconut oil = clear skin.
With all of that said, I also have an issue with candida in my intestines and the candida is known to cause flair up as it is dying, which is called “die off”, so last week, I could have been going through that as well. I plan to re-introduce the coconut oil in a few weeks and see if I react. That way, I will know for sure if it was die off or the coconut oil.
The other items I have eliminated have been through trial and error, most of which are documented on my blog. It has been an interesting journey these past three years, for sure. But where I am now is worth everything I have gone through. Mind, body and spirit.
Wow, so interesting. Maybe the break-out was triggered by my blueberry coconut flax smoothie yesterday!?!? (nooooo…..) I also started using coconut oil more recently…. hmmm. I don’t eat many processed foods and a minimal amount of sugar – though I do eat a ton of fruit. I have, however, been considering trying to reduce the amount of gluten in my diet as well. I’ve heard of a lot of people who experienced really positive improvements in their health after doing so, even if they’re not gluten intolerant.
Thanks so much for the info!
Darryn (brio.gusto)´s last blog ..Operation Listen to Your Body: hunger signals
Oh totally, my husband never had problems with gluten before I decided to give it up and he was the bread and pasta king. Now, he can’t eat it anymore, it makes him sick. Crazy. For me, getting rid of gluten was the first step. Once I was gluten free, I really started to be able to listen to my body so much easier. I wasn’t getting mixed signals anymore. I just find it so fascinating that I walked around eating all of those foods for so long; even just six months ago. Now, the choices I make are just so different.
I feel you on the coconut thing, I love it. I really hope that isn’t my actual problem but we will have to see. As far as fruit and sugar, those things are an issue for me because of the candida.
wonderful and thoughtful response. It seems like you really understand yourself and your body. That is truly worthwhile and something I admire. I agree with much of what you said.
Andrea @ CanYouStayForDinner.com´s last blog ..Polenta with Poached Egg and Goat Cheese
Great post! I do think calories matter, but there are “better” calories out there than others. For me, calories are important though — even too much of WONDERFUL, healthy foods is still too much
Noted. 
Nicole, RD´s last blog ..Oh, the irony! …and a Q&A
While I agree that too many calories probably isn’t good, I ultimately believe that your body knows how much to eat and our hunger and fullness signals are built in calorie counters. I don’t believe that our bodies get hungry if we don’t need fuel.
And for many people with history of eating disorders, myself included, counting calories is very restricting and just perpetuates a cycle of binging and dieting. For others, maybe not but in the end, I do think our bodies are the best judge of what and how much to eat.
Thank you so much for this post! I love that you pointed out that the key is learning to trust your body and trust yourself with food. For those of us who have struggled with disordered eating, that is such a challenge! Society tells us that if we don’t follow some kind of strict dieting plan – one that focuses on calories in versus calories out – we cannot be at a healthy weight. The reality is, like you said, that our bodies themselves are the best indicators of how much food we need, what type of food we need, and what a healthy weight really is. I’m so glad you shared this!
Katie @ Health for the Whole Self´s last blog ..Skipping a Workout
It’s so nice to hear someone else refer to it as ‘Disordered Eating’ because I never considered myself a person with an eating disorder, but I KNEW that I looked at and felt differently about food than everyone else I knew. But it was a taboo subject in my family. If I lost weight I was starving myself. If I gained a little weight I was getting ‘thick’. I stopped talking to my family about food because they all thought I had an eating disorder and didn’t know how to talk to me. I don’t want that for my daughter’s so I keep “fat Talk’ out of the conversation no matter WHO I’m talking about. In our house we talk about healthy eating and the word skinny is NEVER said!!!
I couldn’t agree more. As far as calories being created equal NO!! People are not created equal. I may weigh 115lbs and the person next to me might weigh 115lbs, but I bet the amount of calories they can eat in a day and not gain weight is different than the amount of calories I can eat in a day and not gain weight.
Some people have the “luxury” to eat and eat and eat and not gain weight. I am NOT one of those people. I have to make every calorie count because even as someone who eats well and exercises regularly – I still have to watch how many calories I consume everyday.
Only my body knows what is right for it. I listen to my body (usually) and not my mind. To me those are two very different things. It’s taken a long time to make the distinction and I don’t always get it right, but I’m getting better everyday.
GREAT POST!!!
Maria (realfitmama)´s last blog ..Oat-A-Licious
Amazing story… really. Your result is my ultimate goal and I love that you’ve made it happen. Doesn’t get better than that.
Lindsay (goodiesgalore)´s last blog ..winner alert
What a great post – I am so glad you are in such a good place right now. You seem like you have a great balance. Listening to your body and what it wants/needs is super important! I’ll have to check out that book, any other suggestions??
Nicole @ Making Good Choices´s last blog ..Tomato Onion Flatbread!
I have a number of books in my amazon store (at the top of the page) but my first was the Intuitive Eating Book. One of the chapters in the book is learning to deal with your emotions without using food so my first step was getting down to why I was binging and compulsively overeating and that kind of let down the path of which books I read.
Thanks so much for writing this. I’m reaching a point in my life where I’ve realized I need to just eat intuitively. I’m no longer so overweight and uneducated about food that I need to count calories (I do think it is an effective tool to make yourself aware of what you’re eating). I did that, now I need to listen to my body just like you said. I want to have a healthy/happy relationship with food and I’ve been working on it. Slowly but surely I’ll get to that happy place!
Seriously lady! I feel like half the things you write speak directly to me! Thanks for sharing your story and your thoughts with the world!
Karla´s last blog ..Game Face
Thanks, Karla. That really means so much to me. I’ve written this blog for almost three years now and I am glad to be able to impact people. It has been such an important part of my process; I am so happy that it can help others, too.
Such a great post! Thanks for that insight.
Cole´s last blog ..The thinker (and cool news!)
Thanks for stopping by, Cole!
Good for you for being so in tune with your body that your relationship with your body is natural. It is not easy to be an intuitive eater, and I know the journey has been long for you. Thanks for sharing your story – I know it will inspire others to listen to their bodies
Jessie´s last blog ..Smoky Porcini Mushroom Sauce
I think the take away message from this is “know your body”. I’ve counted calories obsessively, tracked calorie burn through a BodyBugg or something similar, all to create a deficit that should, by all logical reason, create a loss. But it doesn’t. I’ve found what works for me and that is to avoid feelings of denial and to make veggies the center of the meal and build a meal around them.
I’m glad you’ve found a happy medium. That’s the most important thing, whatever it is you had to do to get there.
Elizabeth (The Dallas Celiac)´s last blog ..Leftovers + Repeats
i am really trying to learn how to eat intuitively but in a healthy way. it’s so much easier to just listen to my hunger cues, but sometimes my hunger says “ICE CREAM” so i answer with yummy greek yogurt.
caitlin´s last blog ..Operation Beautiful at UCF
Since I know you appreciate a good discussion and won’t take offense, I will throw it out there that one of the things I have learned since starting my intuitive eating journey three years ago is that when I crave ice cream, it isn’t typically my body asking for it. It is my mind and learning the difference has been essential for me. With that said, I had to go through over two years of learning that eating ice cream is OK. I am not good or bad based on my food choices.
Now, when I make the choice to eat ice cream, I do it with awareness of how that ice cream will make me feel. That is the beautiful thing about learning to eat this way, at least for me. I know that I can eat the ice cream if I want to but more often than not, I choose not too because I don’t want to feel bad physically.
oh soooo true! i do try to separate the mind and body cravings. and i think your tactic is the right tactic – reminding yourself how your body feels when you eat the not-so-healthy stuff. sometimes it worth it… sometimes its not.
you are so smart
caitlin´s last blog ..Operation Beautiful at UCF
Exactly. On the sometimes worth it point.
And the me being so smart.
I really want to read this book! Thank you for such a great post. I agree with finally getting a stable weight by listening to your body and nourishing it the right way. Don’t you feel more satisfied when you eat whole foods rather that junk?
It took me a long time to figure all this out though……
Great job on breaking out of your yoyo dieting cycle.
kalli@fitandfortysomething´s last blog ..Good Eats
I don’t really classify food as junk food and good foods but I do feel better when I eat whole, plant based foods.
Thank you for sharing your perspective on this, and congratulations on your recovery and for being able to arrive at this place where “food is where it should” be in your life.
The question of calories in calories out, and the equality of calories is such a hard topic to approach. I agree with you, that they are not all created equal and that calories are not the end all be all to weight loss/maintenance. While, yes, that’s the basic gist, and you can lose weight that way, there just soooo much more to it. I cannot convince myself that eating a 100 calorie apple is the same as eating 100 calorie spoonful of pb. I guess because I think more in terms of what my body is getting from the foods I eat, nutrient-wise, not just number wise.
Jenny´s last blog ..Just Do It
Though it is such a tough reality knowing that so many men and women struggle with our image and the relationship we have with food…your story continues to make me feel empowered! I too have found my way to a balanced and peaceful place with food and I owe it all to the principles of Intuitive Eating.
Are there still tough days when I question all of this and that voice from the past suddenly yells? Yes ma’am. But do I now have the tools and the support to quiet it and creep back into my place of balance, health and peace. It’s incredible to find myself here and I can feel from your words how tall you now stand after your journey!
Jenn @ Livewellfit´s last blog ..Insanity goes LIVE!
I do believe that calories are calories when it comes to weight loss. You can eat all desserts if you want to lose weight as long as you only allow yourself a certain amount of calories.
But intuitive eating is definitely the way to go! I wonder why it’s so difficult for people to eat this way? Maybe today’s highly processed food messes with our hunger cues…I don’t know.
It took me almost three years to learn to eat this way. And it wasn’t easy. Frankly, I don’t think people are willing to do the work it takes. It is hard to overcome an eating disorder, emotional eating, constant guilt and beating yourself up or whatever it is. It seems easier to just eat a certain number of calories so most people take that route.
As always, an insightful and thoughtful post. I am in complete agreement with everything that you wrote. Right now, I, myself, am on a journey to better health through intuitive eating and listening to my body. It is undoubtedly a very difficult and at times discouraging process, but I’m learning to have faith in my mind and body that it knows what to do. I’m moving forward trusting my instincts.
You, my dear friend, provide inspiration and give me hope that one day I will succeed.
Jenny´s last blog ..Everyone Wave to my Nana!
Thank you, my dear friend.
I loved reading your story. I also love your point of view. Although, some people can definitely have a hard time accepting that point of view. You make it sound so easy
Kristen @ Change of Pace´s last blog ..A Trip to Trader Joe’s
you are an inspiration! i’m so glad you said it took a few years to truly get to intuitive eating. i’ve been trying for about a month now, though not in it’s totality as i’m having a hard time letting go of the calorie counting, but i hope to get there in totally in the future.
Great post!! I’m working on eating more intuitively, but it’s harder than it looks, you know? I’m hoping that one day, I’ll be able to eat based solely on hunger cues, rather than calories and what I’ve eaten already…but I’m not there yet! As you said, it takes time
Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg´s last blog ..Holy Comments, Batman!
Good post. I do think calories matter in the long run but it does balance out. Maybe we eat more one day when our body tells us to because you’ve exercised a lot or whatever and then on another day maybe you wont eat as much simply because you’re not as hungry.
Jessica Lee´s last blog ..Veggies, Fruit, Dairy, Nuts – Healthy Enough Yet?
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