The last time I posted, I mentioned that Jenny and I had discovered some unsettling news about Baron Baptiste and Rolf Gates. On Thursday morning, I was stalking my blog stats when I noticed an odd search term that landed someone here. It was “Baron Baptiste Rolf Gates lawsuit“. I thought, man, that is odd, doesn’t seem right. So, of course, I googled the term myself. And yep, low and behold, a couple of years ago, the two men I have held in highest regard as yoga teachers were involved in a nasty lawsuit against one another. I’m not going to take sides in the matter nor am I going to get into details about what supposedly happened. More important to me is the lesson that it taught me.
You all know that I adore Baron Baptiste. So much so that I dropped a boatload of cash and hopped an airplane with one of my girlfriends to spend eight hours with him in Dallas. And most recently, I have become very fond of Rolf Gates as he is the one that inspired this un-stuck challenge of mine. I had them both placed on some sort of yogi pedestal and thought they could do no wrong. I’ve even done this with some of my favorite local teachers and I think that this was a lesson I needed to learn. No one is perfect and in the words of Baron Baptiste, setting expectations is limiting. I’ve set these expectations for my teachers when what I really need is on the inside. I am my own best teacher. I can seek the advice of others and learn what I can but at the end of the day, I am the only one that knows what is best for me.
So, since then, I have read day six, seven and eight in my Meditations from the Mat book
Today, I read day eight and am feeling stuck again. I know what my sticking point is, well, at least I think I do.
“So it is as we begin to live our yoga – there is a sense of liberation and lightness as we begin to renounce the very things that have held us back” – Rolf Gates
Those are the last words in day eight and as soon as I read them, I tried headstand again. I couldn’t do it. I tried, I kicked, I lost all of my grace. I huffed and finally said out loud to myself and my mat “What is holding me back“. Once I realized that I had nothing to prove in the warmth of those four walls, I managed to get up for a fews breaths. But, still, the sound of my feet pounding into the floor as I struggled, kicking and internally screaming, still rings in my ears.
It is the sound that reminds me of my limiting beliefs. My expectations. The ones I can’t let go of. I’ve tied myself up into a little box and allowed myself to believe that I can only go so far and only do so many things. And because those are my expectations, that is what happens. But what would happen if I let those expectations go? What if I didn’t let my all or nothing thinking win most of the time. What if I found some middle ground and what if I allowed anything to happen?
What if?
What about you? Do you live in a box of limiting beliefs? Or do you believe that anything is possible?
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I think this is such an important thing to think about. I always look up to people who have done more than ‘anyone could ever do.’ They NEVER ever gave into their doubts.
It’s funny that you write this cause on Friday I really wanted to to a handstand. But I had it in my brain that I wasn’t going to be able to do it. Then I said ‘nope you’re gonna do it’. So I youtubed how to do a handstand..and yeah it took a couple of times, but I got up there.
What I HAD to do, was let go of any doubt I had. If I didn’t let go it it..I fell.
be patient with this. don’t try to force your way out of it. sit with it. visualise success and keep going.
Michelle@Eatingjourney´s last blog ..An ‘Oh HELL No!’ Moment